Gratitude is my new attitude.

Today I am contemplating a lot of things. Big things. Huge life changing things actually...

Friday we got home from our super, mega fun trip to Disneyland with Jared's side of the family! It was the time of our lives... Not only did we go to Disneyland for 3 days but before that we spent two days on the beach and even go to go on a whale watching trip! It was all amazing... My kids have memories that will last them their whole lives.

Then yesterday the day after we got home it rained, allllll day! It was cold and slushy and a horrible day to come home to after a beautiful sunny California vacation. One thing I really wanted to do was clean out my car but that wasn't going to happen in that kind of weather. I had ran some errands in the morning and the water bottles were just rolling around in the back seats crunching over cookies and crumbs my kids had left behind.

So when it came time to run to Target later in the afternoon to pick up the girls new glasses, I jumped on Indy's suggestion to take her little Ford Focus on our errands so that I didn't have to look at the sad shape my car was in.  The roads were very wet and it was still raining but Indy and I made it to Target got the glasses and even looked around at a few things before heading home.

After we passed the University Parkway exit and I was traveling in the slow lane and I must have hit a puddle because the car hydroplaned and took on a mind of its own. We started to spin towards the median. I knew better than to try to make any sudden jerks with the steering wheel but I kept my hands on it to feel for any signs that I was gaining traction. We had spun 180 degrees by the time we crossed the 3rd lane over and it was like we were in slow motion because I was lined up exactly with a small blue SUV with maybe 8 ft between our front bumpers. Indy who was in the passenger seat says I kept saying to her, "Its going to be ok!" I started to feel a little traction on the steering wheel and I was able to stop us from spinning but we kept sliding towards the median. Cars were whizzing past and we missed each and every one. We were facing south on north bound I-15 as we were coming towards the median I worried about Indy since her side would hit first, we made eye contact and I probably yelled "its going to be ok" again, because that was the only option I could live with at the moment, and miraculously, when we hit the median first with the front corner of the bumper it took most of the impact and the rest of the car followed, almost gently, and we stopped almost completely out of the fast lane in a small shoulder area.

Jared was on a job in Coalville so the first call I made was to my dad and mom and they came to save us. (Its funny how in movies you always see them making jokes about adults calling for their mommy when they are hurt or scared, but its a real thing, you want your parents to be with you in those moments!) And luckily a highway patrol pulled up within 5 min of us crashing to check on us and give me some paperwork to fill out with shaking hands. The car was actually still working. (Jared says with a new bumper, radiator and tires it will be back to its former glory!)

The crazy thing about it all was I didn't feel scared. I felt safe. I have always worried that if I was ever in that very position as the driver with my car out of control would I know what to do??  And in the moment when it was actually happening to me I definitely felt spiritual guidance given to me. It must not have been my time to go, or in reality, maybe it wasn't Indy's time to go and I got saved because of her. Either way I felt divine intervention guiding me through all the cars passing by me ( I so wish there were cameras on the freeway!). But mostly while the car was spinning, I was pretty sure we would be ok. But when the car came to a stop and I thought about all the horrible outcomes that could have happened my thoughts were filled with gratitude. I was grateful for the time I just spent with Jared and our family. Grateful for all the good memories. Grateful for all the pictures and videos they had. Grateful that I had good kids. Grateful for all the people who loved me. Grateful that if it had been my time, knowing my family would be ok and they would take care of each other. Grateful for the gospel and that my kids loved it and lived it! Grateful that they would know that they would see me again.

And you know what I didn't even cross my mind for a millisecond??? Thoughts like- if only I had a six pack, or if my hair was longer, or if I used expensive face creams so I had less wrinkles, or if only I had spent more money on clothes, or that I had more followers on instagram...

Not one thought like that...

Which makes me realize how much time I have wasted worrying about worldly things that will have no importance to me when I cross over the other side. It has made me realize where my priorities are, and what direction I want to take my life from here. I know what brings me happiness and joy in this life and the life to come.

So right now I am contemplating all the things I am grateful for, most importantly my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my loved ones here on earth. I plan on cultivating them for the rest of my life and I am not gonna lie... I needed this wake up call and I will keep moving forward with faith!