What I want my children to know about me.
#2 Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
1) Heights are very scary.
I wasn't always scared of heights though... This is a fear that has developed since having children of my own. My instincts to preserve their precious little bodies from harm is probably a little extreme. I also am terrified of endangering myself and not being there to protect my babies. I am terrified when we drive next to cliffs. And then there's hiking, (shiver!) there are always cliffs! Oh and the tour that takes you to the top of the new conference center in SLC, oh dear! Heart attack! But I realize the irrational-ness of myself and try hard to not pass this on to my kids. When I don't have kids with me I am much more relaxed. When Jared and I stopped at the Grand Canyon last year I had such a great time. But I realized it was because the kids weren't with us. I never would have enjoyed it if I was on pins and needles trying to keep my four kids from going over the edge!
2) Driving over bridges that go over water.
This became a fear around 10 when someone I knew actually died when their car went off a bridge and I overheard my parents going over the horrifying details of the accident. But of course since I have had children it has gotten worse. I unlock all the doors and roll down one window all the way if it is a long bridge with deep water. You may think that sounds completely insane, but the electric windows and door locks will most likely not work when your car goes in to the water and then you won't even have an option to get out of the car (as was the case in the accident I mentioned.) As each child has grown out of their car seats I have breathed a sign of relief because now I don't have to factor in the time to get them out of their buckles. But I know this is also irrational and has little chance of ever happening to me. But I don't think it hurts to have a plan for worst case scenarios of any kind!
3)Jared dying
Jared does lots of crazy things and is never home when he says he is going to be. I can't even add up all the hours that I have spent worry and wondering if this would be the time he actually doesn't come home. But he always has come home. And I actually don't worry about him as much as used to. Ever since he broke his femur in a motorcycle accident he is much more conservative in his choices of entertainment and hobbies and he has gotten better at judging time and is usually home when he says he will be. But still every time he is more than an hour late and its dark outside I will still start to worry- could this be the night???
Those are my 3 'legitimate' fears. What are yours??
I was always afraid I would die before I was able to raise my children. I was thinking about that recently and now. I still don't want to die. But it was something I prayed for regularly, to live long enough to raise my children. I'm also a little bit afraid of heights, which makes me wonder why I love skiing so much. I think I might be overcoming my fears.
ReplyDeleteWow such a great post, really makes me think a lot about my fears and where they stem from.
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