Our Happily Ever After... Or was it???

When Jared and I first got married I had a LOT of expectations about what our life together would be like!

 I had imagined that we would happily spend every, single, second of every day together! We would also love doing all the same activities together as a couple! Jared was going to love and appreciate every meal I made too, I just knew it! We were never going to raise our voices at each other either, and we would always have "discussions" in calm, reasonable voices. Jared would, of course, suddenly grow a love for babies and want to hold them and bathe them and change their diapers because they were OUR babies and they were special! And Jared definitely wouldn't ever need to hang out with any of his buddies ever again because he had me, and I was going to be all the fun and entertainment he would ever need!

I am sure you can all tell where this post is going...

I can make all sorts of excuses as to why I expected so many things from Jared. I was a baby really, only 19 , and I had really no idea what marriage was going to be like. I only knew what I had been allowed to observe in my parents relationship. And I did get a lot of my ideas from movies and TV shows which, as I now know, are not very reliable in showcasing what actual lasting relationships are like.

SO your probably dying to know how I got him to live up to all my expectations so we could enjoy our blissful happily ever after!!

And the secret is....

I didn't.



Sure I tried... At first. 

I cried, I pouted, I was silent and I admit I occasionally screamed about it. I wanted him to change. I wanted him to be someone totally different than who he was, so that he could fit my expectations. 

I wanted him to change who HE was to make ME happy...

I am embarrassed to admit this actually. It was so selfish and naive. 

I am actually relived now that none of my antics to get him to change worked. But at the time, I got more frustrated, more sad, and more depressed. I thought something was wrong with our marriage.

And honestly, there was. It was me.

About the time Libby was 6 weeks old, I was blessed to have a family member call me out on how I was being unfair to Jared. At first, I was mad and hurt. How could I be the one that was wrong? I am a kind, loving wife!? All I want is to be together all the time? What is wrong with that? Don't you see how it's always about him!?? 

But when I really thought about it, I realized that I had been wrong all along. I was relying on Jared to make me happy. I had been trying to get him to fit into a mold he knew nothing about in the first place. And this mold that I wanted him to fit into- if he had actually squeezed himself into it, just to make me happy, it would have squeezed everything out of him that made him who he was... 

Including everything that I fell in love with in the first place.

So now that I had figured this out, I knew I needed to change. I needed to learn that I am capable of being happy with or without Jared. Yes, I married him because he was the person that made me feel like no one had ever made me feel. I had never laughed so loud, felt so pretty or been so happy as I was when I was with him! 

But that was just a bonus. 

And just how it goes with anything that you want to last forever... I needed to take care of it and nourish that love- and keep it special and exciting by letting him be that carefree fun guy who made my heart flutter every time he walked in the door.

 Instead of nurturing it, I had been doing the opposite by trying to squash all the things that made Jared- Jared, just like I would a bug on the wall! I had to let go of my expectations. I had to learn to be happy because we were in this together! And come what may, we would make it one crazy adventure! Full of butterflies, laughter, excitement and lots and lots of crazy love!

It is always going to be my choice if I am happy or not.
It's not anyone else's job to make me feel a certain way. And even now 15 years later I am not perfect at it but just having this knowledge is priceless to our happy marriage! And if I was a numbers person I would say we got this marriage thing figured out- we are happy a full 80% of the time by now! And in the next 5 years that will be up to 85%! So basically, 20 years from now I bet we will be right near perfect at this marriage thing! So never give up! It will happen to you too!

I am so blessed that I am on this crazy ride call life with my favorite person! 

~~Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life. 2 nephi 10:23~~

Design Inspiration for New Family room and Bedroom

I can't wait to get my house back together! 

When we started this project I don't think I realized how long this would take. There are times I wish I wish we could just take shortcuts and to get it done! But I know it will all be worth it in the end! 

I am excited for the new look of our home. I want it to look fresh and clean, with hints of nature and modern lines, and all the while, be a cozy and family friendly space.

I love the greens, natural wood, and the homey look of the stacked books here. 

 This room has lots of surprises. And even though it has the stark white background its amazing how warm and inviting the room looks. There are so many unique treasures displayed that give this space character.

 The cactus really adds interest to this room. Its simple and clean, but not boring at all. The natural light is the highlight of this room and it warms up all the natural wood accents.

I love the side table and the lights hanging over the barn wood wall art. I hope to add elements like that to our room.

 Am am thinking I will need a faux mantel to accessorize the room and to be able to easily keep the room modern and up to date by changing out the decor!

I love this girl's home! I follow her on instagram and I think she does an amazing job of making a white room look warm and cozy!

 This is where the pops of color start coming into my inspiration!

 I am keeping my eye out for so colorful fabrics or chairs to add interest and an element of surprise to our family room.

 I love the corner shelves and the leather and metal chairs in this room, along with the light fixture there are so many interesting things to love in this room!

  

The couches. Need I say more??

Clean and natural work space. I love the pictures pinned on the wall and the shelf across the window.

I love the light pink with the white and natural wood, but I think this is a look Jared won't go for... 

I hope you enjoyed a peak into some of my inspirations for new space! Hopefully the renovations are done sooner than later and we get to enjoy the new room for Christmas!

A Taste of Country Life

 We got a little taste of country life last Saturday when we got to go visit my Uncle Brian and Aunt Lisa's place!

They have 4 dogs and small herd of fainting goats! Yes, your read that right- fainting goats!

(Keep reading we will get to that part later!)

As soon as we pulled up the long drive way and put the car in park the kids were out of the car and running around like wild Indians, as my Papa used to call me and my siblings when we were little!

But Milo was the wildest! Milo and his cousin Leo just took off and found a mountain of dirt to dig in right over Indy's shoulder in the picture below and down the hill! We didn't see them for a long time and when we finally called them in they were covered in dirt and smelled like the wild out doors mixed with sweaty little boy smell! And they were happy, oh so happy! The kind of happy that made me wish I had my own piece of land to let the little boys be free and wild everyday!!

We all know how much Indy loves dogs! She was in heaven with all the well behaved big dogs my Uncle Brian has! They were so sweet and lovable! It almost made me want to scoop one up and take them home with us. (I said -Almost!) 

 We had the best adventure going to see the goats! These goats were the sweetest, little creatures! (Well everyone but Milo thought so. He couldn't get past the fact that their pupils are slanted horizontally and to him it was creepy!) But the girls and Nash loved them!  We came down to the first small pasture with the male goats and they came to the fence and were bleating and looking cute and my Uncle suddenly yells at the top of his lungs "Blah, Blah, Bloo, Blah....!!! and most of the goats scurried away but one of them fell for it and fainted! Its the funniest thing! Now, I really don't endorse scaring animals for my own entertainment but I was just a witness to it and it was hilarious! 

 My mom found some beautiful mazanita branches she took home!

This was the girl goat pasture and  we spent a lot of time here! There were a lot of baby goats and my Uncle Brian told the kids he would give a dollar to all the kids that could catch one!

All three of the girls caught at least one! It was so much fun to see them be out in the wild running free with animals! They were all so happy there!

Nash was loving it but he wanted to take his shoes of and I wouldn't let him and he was sad... Sometimes being a kid is tough!

They have such amazing views! This one is of what I think I heard was a casino just over yonder! :)

Beautiful Northern California.

It was the perfect Saturday! The only thing missing was my JuJu! We celebrated her life while we were in California and it was hard to say good bye. This visit reminded me that Juju is still with us everywhere we go, we just have to take her with us in our hearts! I thought about her a lot and how much she would have loved to see the kids enjoying this time at Uncle Brians. 

And my Uncle Brian was so good at honoring his parents lives by making his home as welcoming and fun as my Papa and JujJu always did for me and my siblings when we were kids! I am so happy my kids got to experience it on this day! I am pretty sure we will make it back for more! 

Reconciled to His will

This scripture stood out to me yesterday. 

As I read this scripture I felt the words "reconcile yourself 

to God's will" speaking right to me. 

How many times do I give into the ideas world? 

How many times do I think I know better? 

How many times do I choose to worry and stress over things I can't control? 

The answer to all those questions is- A lot! 

What I am working on is being reconciled to His will. 

And to me that means to have complete faith in his plan. 

I know what I need to do to follow Him so that one day I will be able to be with Him and my Savior again. 

God has taught me what his will is and I must "reconcile to him" by showing my faith in him and living the way he has taught. 

And we are so, so lucky!

Because our Heavenly Father has given us a very special gift- 

Our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

He came to earth to set the example for us to follow and then he sacrificed it all for every human being that has ever and will ever live on the earth. No one but He could have done that. 

I am so grateful for this time of year to remind me to treasure that gift above all others. 

Because what this season is really about-

Is not what we can give to others....

 It's about what One Other has sacrificed to give a Gift to you. 

Happy Birthday Nashie!!!

Nash's birthday started out normal enough. He had a fever the day before but I was hoping he would be feeling better for his birthday!

The kids have Tae Kwon Do on Saturdays so I had to wake him up and he wasn't too happy about that!

 But we got a shirt on him and took him down stairs where I had the table all set up for him! Doughnuts and all his favorite cars and tractors helped keep the grumpies at bay!

This boy brings so much joy to our lives! He is adored by all his siblings and they will do anything for him! Including- changing diapers, cleaning up his messes, taking him with them to their friends houses, taking him out to jump on the tramp first thing in the morning, and searching all over until they find his missing car or sippy cup! I have a good bunch of kids and I couldn't do it with out them!

(We are missing Indy in this picture, she got to go to Comicon with her best friend Siena! So sad that the time has come when she will be busy and doing more grown up things, but so happy that she is a responsible good girl,with great friends!)

 He loved the cars I had set out on the table he wasn't really interested in the doughnuts or sausages which was a little weird and he wouldn't let us light his candle with fire or sing to him. So I knew he wan't feeling all better yet!

 (The dog ended up getting on the counter and eating all the leftover doughnut while we were at tae kwon do, I probably should be glad she saved us from the calories... But we kinda weren't! )

 He loved his birthday card from Grandma and Grandpa Jacobson and would "Rawr" at everyone with the card, it was so cute!

Indy went to comicon, Libby had a soccer game and Ellie and Milo went to tae kwon do. So me and Nash went to Walmart and picked out some trucks and farm animals he has been wanting!

(Notice the rash starting on his cheeks, something was up but I still wasn't sure. He had a rash on his inner thighs too but I though it was a heat rash from his fever yesterday. But just a reminded to all moms out there! Sanitize your shopping carts before you put your kids in them!)

We went home and played with his new trucks and toys! Then our neighbor Kari came over with a big tub full of  Lincoln logs and a train set! Nash was in heaven and played with all his new toys for the rest of the morning.

His Momo and Uncle Justin both came by with gifts for him since they were leaving to go out of town that evening! Nash loved the visits and the new cars!!

Then things started to go down hill from there. More rashes popping up and I started getting a sinking feeling that this was the dreaded Hand Foot and Mouth disease, which is a virus that starts as a fever and as the fever goes away the itchy rash pops up. Including sores in his mouth. It was awful and he was miserable the rest of the day and all Sunday! I quarantined the whole family and kept everyone home from church just to be sure we didn't spread it!

 I did make him some brownies and ice cream last night when he seemed to be feeling a little better so we could sing to him and have him blow out his candles. But all in all the birthday was a flop ;( and we are totally going to have to do a redo birthday party for him when he is better!

Here is his birthday song from last night! (He is in a phase where he doesn't want to wear clothes and I let him when he isn't feeling well and it's his birthday!)

Ellie won!!

Reflections 2014

"The world would be a better place if..."

Ellie wrote and adorable story about an Elephant girl and her cell phone for reflections and she won for her school,

 then she won for the district,

 and she just won the regional award! 

She is so excited! And we are so proud!

Elephant Girl Sees The World

by Ellie Jaynes

Ella was always on her phone. She would walk with her phone. She would eat with her phone.  She also slept with her phone! 

What she did not know was she was missing out on the world.

She missed the playground. She missed the beautiful trees. She missed playing with her dog. So many things!

One day Ella got grounded from her phone. Her mom said to go take the dog on a walk.

She started to notice the things around her. She saw the trees. She saw the play ground but one of the things she did not like was the littering she saw at the playground so she picked it up. She saw mean boys taking the branches of the trees. Ella told them to stop. 

She saw that her dog needed someone to play with and she saw a lonely girl. Ella asked the girl to play with her and her dog. The girl said, "Yes,I would like that!" 

That day she was not on her phone all the time. Instead she played with her new friend, she stopped kids from hurting the trees and she picked up litter.

Ella realized that there is more things in the world than her phone, and without her phone she could make the world a better place!

Thanksgiving 2014

We were so lucky to have Jared's mom Penny come stay with us for Thanksgiving! It was a blast!The kids just soak in every minute of it!

Even Cupcake loved snuggling up with Penny!

The kids showing here all their funny videos!

We went and saw Santa arrive at the mall in a helicopter!

Doesn't Jared have such a chiseled jaw!? And Libby looks like his gangsta daughter!

Nash loved to entertain us with his cuteness!

Thanksgiving!!

We cooked all day! And our dinner turned out amazing! Jared and I like to do the turkey together and we just use and oven bag and it always turns out awesome!

Ryan and Adrienne and their kids were here too! Adrienne made lots of yummy food too! It was a delux dinner!

Jared decided to build a bike ramp and ended up crashing and hurting his knee and getting pretty scraped up right before the prayer. It was a typical holiday move for him! It's not a holiday until jared breaks something!

Happy Thanksgiving! We have so much to be grateful for especially all the people we love!